Here be dragons
The problem with updating this thing on a regular basis is that I risk falling into an all-too-familiar trap of posting a dirge and not imparting anything worth the text that speaks about it. Literary diarrhoea I believe is the term. I could take my writing in any direction I choose. I’ve found that trying to stick to a purely technical theme means I run dry; anime blogging has been beaten to death and then set on fire by so many others, besides, picking apart individual episodes is tedious and pointless; I’ve never read any gaming blogs before but I would imagine my gaming throughput and general immersion (or lack thereof) in their culture would have to be greater and more polarised for it to be worthwhile. This really only leaves me with personal or fictional writing. I like to think I am adept at writing fiction but don’t engage in it often enough to warrant a dated blog structure. And so, I’m left to personal writing; I try to steer away from the diary paradigm (I went to class today and feel asleep then went to a café then went down a literary garden path) and at least try and make a point.
But then I get the crazy idea that maybe the minutiae of my life aren’t worth scrutinising. A typical day (and there are more and more of them recently) consists of the following sequence: get up, walk to work while listening to music, spend an hour checking over almost work-related sites (digg, slashdot, various forums), spend the rest of the morning working on whatever is top priority, lunch, spend two hours fighting back sleep then the rest of the afternoon working, home, tea, anime/gaming/whatever, sleep. As an itemised list that mechanically makes up 5/7 of my week; mentally it’s a case of “where to start?”.
My walk to work is defined by what my music player has as it’s album of the day, it sets the tempo for the rest of the day and woe betide me to meddle with my music players hotline to chance. My morning is spent coming up with random thoughts: webcomics with Flickr like hotspots for interesting words or how webcomics could become more searchable and accessible with plain-text scripts or how the next person to reveal themselves as an Apple zealot will have me buying the iPhone just so I can beat them with it. My lunchtime is spent on the lookout for the attractive young woman who I seem to meet on a frequent basis so I can have my daily dose of “Should I say something, what have I got to lose apart from my dignity?”. The afternoon usually brings feelings of resentment towards my job and chosen way of life, untamed disdain at how mediocre I am and how spectacular I wish to be. Evenings bring sweet release from structure but in such criminally short spaces of time. Rinse, repeat.
Then there are days like today where I’m so clouded with head-slime I forgo work to try and recover. Sick days are terrible if you’re actually sick because you’re on borrowed time, time you otherwise wouldn’t have and you’re so crippled by disease (this morning I believed I had the SARS) that you can’t do any of what you would like to. I settled for playing more Just Cause, cleaning the kitchen and writing quoteTangent which now adorns the bottom right corner of the rapidly expanding sidebar. Expect a more diligent description of my handwork (click the author) at a later date.
So once again I’m inconclusive as to what this blog is supposed to do. I don’t write for anyone but myself and yet I still make things public for others to read, otherwise I would just write on a piece of paper or a local word processor file. Maybe this is just a cry for help, a vacuous self-flagellating diatribe spawned from thesaurus-fuelled evenings; however I look at it, this is my life and I’m being myself, so no one can tell me I’m doing it wrong.
